Log in

No account? Create an account
Space Cowboy's Journal [entries|friends|calendar]
Space Cowboy

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[13 Dec 2006|07:42pm]
it's tough for me to trust someone
that isn't or won't sing their heart out in public
or in private
when a good song comes on.
i'm not even talking about the standard bar song catalog
that always sounds better after spirits and beer-
i'm talking about that song that each person has that for some reason
or other fills that void that missing-
exterior or interior-
and when the first notes come
the first response is to unload the sound.
it's that simple. shit- i got at least 40 songs that cause
involuntary solo sessions
in a myriad of places
and i don't mind if i get stares
(at that point maybe i'll keep the volume down a tad lower)
as long as i get the entire song. and if someone cannot open themselves
up for that small ark of time-
let their flaws or tastes or talent show-
how can i ever take them for who they say they are?
if i'm gonna give you any part of me
you best be willing to share.

but why sing?
i don't know. i've said it before and i'll guess again-
if i could sing i wouldn't be here.
but i cannot sing well. nor can 98% of the people in this world.
but somehow that has translated into poor singing being sublimated-
people used to being hushed by those who don't want to hear.
yet it's those voices that never get the chance to sing
that need to the most.
why sing?
is it cause i might be going nowhere?
is it cause i've thrown love away too many times?
is it cause there is still tomorrow?
do i sing
cause it's not enough?
is it cause i'm feeling the piano-
is it cause i'm trying to forget
is it cause i'm scared of missing the bus?
is it cause i've thrown love away far too few times?
is it cause i just want to be heard?

i don't know. i really don't want to know-
cause if i did have a reason
why every time i hear 'brown sugar' that
i have to let every and no- one around me know
what's going on-
i'd probably have a very small music collection.
and that would suck.
post comment

and the old saying goes... [03 Dec 2006|06:15pm]

this is still online.
ain't nothing like finding that little piece of the past.

maybe i'll get back here within two years
or maybe two days. who knows.

what i do know is that i'm out of cigarettes-
and that is a pressing issue.

post comment

[09 Jul 2004|07:04pm]
6 comments|post comment

hero's found mettle [21 Jul 2003|09:53pm]
thin it did finally done break:
tough being an english major who cannot write, and outside of papers i haven't written anything. 7 months and i fill maybe 20 pages in a notebook, but last few days, its been nice.
kinda feel a touch of the future coming on strong, might be giving me a slap on the ass and making me work.

hey hey hey- wayne can drive a semi.

still with the piano playing freshman. going well. still get a kick that women like me...me for christs sake.
no smoothie king, now with pepsi [hence the cdl liscense]-

i hold the record at vintage, new best bar on campus, for the redneck buffet.
what is that, you might ask:
one can of hamms beer-
one pickeld egg-
one turkey gizzard [turkey heart]
and one ham knuckle.

i ate that shit in 42 seconds. what's awful as well? i also hold 2nd and 3rd place times.

for some reason i had a repeat dream. except i had it back in 8th grade. was a memorable one, i could almost picture it totally for a good 4 years, and wrote it down in an old notebook which i'm looking at now.
was a fucked up dream- with caverns, butterflies, sean melendy playing hockey with streaked-hair-girl with furniture they bought, burning houses, flying grandpa and all that shit. why it came back now, i really have no clue.

a lot of people i came into school with are now gone, and i'm still here. where's my cheese?

go get kevin young's new book, jelly roll: a blues... it's hot.
and then six more months passed....
5 comments|post comment

[26 May 2003|07:54pm]
no letting go and no holding back
both things require hands
with fingers (n)either worn (n)or experienced for the task
leaving large keychains
and poems inadequate
wondering who won when the game is up
by the word by my words start
the on-deck circle is open
and you're still on the bench smiling
proving good the choice
to walk the land
instead of flying the sky
rendering the thoughts of end moot
until you say bye
1 comment|post comment

..where has all the time gone- in that panhandler's pocket, that douche... [18 Mar 2003|07:46pm]
still alive.
no internet for some months now but I deal.
still ain't got it, but think i'd best get in touch again with people.
post comment

[17 Nov 2002|05:49pm]
so what have i been up to?
nothing too special. re-enrolled to school after a year at a much more affordable cost. very excited about that shit.
working working working. got nice raise at one job, going to get one at the other. shit's cool.
been spending major league time with michelle lately, which is very nice with me. i can say it's a relationship since their was sober sex involved, which is a good thing since she has acclimated herself to the guys in the house very well, and i'm cool with her friends, so it's all good. just really messsed up the 3 years age difference. last time there was something like this i was the 18 year old with a 23 year old, now the coin has been flipped. - doesn't matter though, the value of the currency doesn't change.
and she looks too hot in the tight shirt/fishnets under holy jeans. too much.

gonna be home this weekend for a week. yep yep. so Saturday night will be at the arrow, got that chris?

fuck the raiders.
post comment

[08 Nov 2002|07:52pm]
got into my second major league melee in the matter of two weeks...
seems the fraternity down the street got pissed at us cause one of our guys beat the shit out of one of their pledges and his friend in front of ian's pizza.
so about thirty of them rolled to our house, and decided it be cool to start shit... in our house, with the 15 guys we had downstairs...

long story short, we fucked them up. six to the hospital [we had to bring danny since some guy with a ring clocked him in the fucking face], and by dialing the right channels... serious shit is going to happen to them.

tell ya, this is one crazy year.
2 comments|post comment

[03 Nov 2002|09:11pm]
just in case anybody reads about it...
fucking college kids rioting in madison-

i got my ass tear gassed. harshly.

halloween rocked.
post comment

[24 Oct 2002|08:03pm]
long time.
things been real nice.
not getting burned by char[la] anymore...kinda realized i didn't like her...nor her like me unless we were both drunk, so we jumped.
but still got freshman around. been spending much time past few weeks with michelle, this soccer playin/former punker blond cutie. real nice and i'm enjoying greatly. actually met her long time back this summer, then ran into her at our party few weeks back and it went from there.

saw 'the ring' yesterday, and damn.... quite a great movie. really fucking good. scary when it needs to be and done damn damn well.

fuck the giants, i'm going as the rally monkey for halloween.
post comment

[27 Sep 2002|02:35am]
it's really them little things in life that hit that most...-

like realizing money ain't nothing but doing nothing is just as bad as hoarding money-

32 year old women at college bars-


when a friend, you knew for a semester, then spends a year in germany, comes back out of the blue... spends time again, hit the bars again
[sidebar: my bar-
the silver dollar-
is getting popular on campus. that is so fucking not cool. i don't want to go to the dollar to meet women, to 'network', whatever, i want to go drink and drink with friends and that's that...
then again, still cool to see friends finding out my little slice of heaven for the first time
[end sidebar]
and during conversation lull, when refilling the pitcher, makes a comment along the line of
'it was never the case where i wanted to go back and to america, but was the case where i'd be places, see things, and think of you , james, and pete and fucking wished you guys were here. that's what pissed me off the most. so you know you are coming to europe.'

guess i am sometime. cause freshman are moody.

and another situation arises where i think a close friend of mine might have one of them eating disorders, which shocks the fuck out of me due to the radiance that jules is, but the weight loss is far too noticeable, along with new habits[redlining diet sprite...the lack of eating... other friends noticing the same] scares the hell out of me. makes me wonder why it's the beautiful girls that would have issues like that, especially with the personality/mind set that she has... really does.

and also, arguing about freshman girlfriends with the guys was damn precious... damn precious...
post comment

[25 Sep 2002|01:21am]
will someone go get the
raphael saadiq album...
you need to. one of the ebst i've heard in so damn long
post comment

love shy [23 Sep 2002|11:37pm]
i'm totally all over the new badu and talib kweli singles-
okayplayer is making noise again and i'm loving my bleeding ears...
also feeling the entire nappy roots album. the call of that album is making me respond. nice to see southern rappers from a real dirty south-
and po folks hits far too close...

otherwise, as the lack of updates show, i'm feelin decent. not really having turmoil-
not having bums kick me-
not having real crazy shit happen other then normal drunken weekend nights... its been cool.
picked myself up a freshman girlfriend and surprisingly i didn't get burnt, cause she is a fine red-head[though nearly brown] and named char[la]... how funny- and 17. make me feel old.

about it. sure by next week things will be different but... ah well.
post comment

[20 Sep 2002|03:09pm]
i know i'm gonna get so burnt...
post comment

[18 Sep 2002|12:36am]
you know-
i KNOW the 3-4 defense alignment is a run-stopping defense through and through. look at the steelers and bills. scheme wise it plugs up holes in the offensive line and with the extra linebacker, obviously quicker then a d-lineman, the defense can adjust during mid-play much better...
so why
the hell
doesn't EA learn to make the 3-4 work in madden?
seriously, i've played the damn game since madden '92 for my freaking genesis, and the 3-4 has sucked

get to fucking work.
2 comments|post comment

freshman named erica?..... yes [02 Sep 2002|11:59pm]
double g

is back from spain. the beta triumvert is fully intact for one last year in madison.
the good times-
they will roll
post comment

[28 Aug 2002|11:43pm]
been like three weeks since i wrote something meaningful or interesting in this thing. ah well. it's going to continue.
been just bunch of working and working and boozing. somehow ended the night last night swimming with a bunch of girls with dave and krebs all naked like. haven't done that in long long time.
don't know why, even with someone real cool takin up personal time, i'm still hung up on sarah. really sucks. been a couple months and still get that empty feeling when i think or run into her, which won't happen much now since she living about 30 minutes away this year. don't know if it's just jealousy or cause she was an ascension or what, but still bugs me much more then it should. sure it will pass, everything does at some point.

football next week. wayne is stoked.
penthouse party tomorrow. wayne is stoked.

about it. hoping to have a dream that shouldn't have been
post comment

[25 Aug 2002|05:58pm]
when the situation is tainted
love is always free
post comment

[24 Aug 2002|01:34am]
[ mood | drunk ]

i don't think i realizes how much i'm in love with jules as i am until tonight as we all enjoyed the bosses tab

post comment

[19 Aug 2002|01:09am]
[ mood | drunk ]


2 comments|post comment

[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]